As time goes by, people-events-things dissolve, Shantidwara as Matarishvan's personal project has transitioned back into the unknown.

Mata discontinued promoting her classes and events as "Shantidwara", but continues offering Yoga classes at her beautiful home and serving community from a new platform/blog https://shivaparvati.yoga  

Firstly, Mata has been subjected numerous times to intellectual property theft in the past. Before Shantidwara was conceived as name for Mata's home in 2019, she has created Flow in 2013 - some greedy hands took it from her and misused. This time, as Shantidwara started getting a spin, the same greedy hands tried to grasp it and misuse, so Mata let go of the idea to call her home a name (greedy hands are powerless over nameless).

🙌🏽 Join Matarishvan's community on http://shivaparvati.yoga and subscribe to the mailing list https://mailchi.mp/60622027e028/subscribe-to-shivaparvati-newsletter 

👍🏼 Like Matarishvan's Facebook page Shiva Parvati Dharma Yoga https://www.facebook.com/shivaparvatidharmayoga/ 

🙏🏽 Subscribe to Matarishvan's YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVubLQDV2ks33id6SHNxwDA

We never really answer the "Why" question - the very question that seems to be the only one a child often wants to ask.  

Instead of answering Why, we answer What. And if it's not enough, we just bring even more What answers.

- Why do bananas grow on trees?

- Well, that's because they're fruit, and trees have fruit as little vessels for their seeds, to procreate. 

That's telling a bit about what is happening to bananas, and what is going on before and after or around that, but it doesn't say anything about Why it is happening. Why does banana tree care to comply with all those patterns?

The child isn't satisfied and keeps asking.

- Why procreate? 

- Well, that way when it dies it has little babies that will continue being bananas, carrying on with the being a banana business. 

"Duh!" - Thinks the child, - "that's not what I asked". Not satisfied. It goes on. We never answer why anything happens. We just keep on rumbling about what is happening - cause and effect, layer by layer. That's all we know from early on - shut off from feeling the Why by bringing a whole lot of the What, aka information noise. We answer the Why with the "because" - as in "the cause of this is this". We never care to reflect on why one thing causes another. 

A banana tree doesn't have a reason to do anything. It does what it does, flowing in our perception of space and time.

If we look at it and care to ask "why?" - we give it a reason. Or hope for reason, rather, which is just as good.

Reason is a projection of one's care, love and hope. Hope that there is some innate nature of existence. Love of mystery and perceived beauty. Care for the continuation of life. Even fear is just another expression of love, care and hope. 

We now start accepting that matter is but a multitude of energy cycles. But we also know that energy is not some-thing. It doesn't exist. Energy is a potential for change. Capacity to cause motion or interaction. Energy is not an event or object. It's an opportunity. Energy magically becomes something only if we care to take a look and wonder Why. Why zero is zero, and not 1-1? Or is it? What is one then? Why did I think it up? Why do I question?

And now, if we keep explaining the reason by looking into facts, however close we get to the "core" of the subject, we are bound to an endlessly explainable and therefore mundane deduction. It never answers the Why question. We make up time progression because we need cause and effect to create an illusion of reasoning. 

The Why answer is not in linear logic. It just is. It has no substance, mass or timeframe. 

The answer to the Why question is the meaning of everything. It is our-Selves, after we've finished the neti-neti job. 

The closest we can get to feeling the reason without formulating or understanding it is when we love. Love is when just "know" Why. We can't explain, but somehow we know. 

The more we think and understand, the less we love. 

Explanation creates more and more layers of the What answers - layers of separation from what birthed the essence in the first place. The universe of the What becomes bigger, with more of confused attempts to explain, and longer distances between ripple crossings. 

As soon as we understand we cease to wonder. We stop looking for the Why.

True love consumes and drowns understanding. 

The Why answer lives in mystery. The time vanishes. We don't need it. The Why answer is in our heart. In one single time and space. Nothing has ever begun. We know. As one.

Children wonder. As long as we wonder - we are children, living. As soon as we stop - we are lost, dying. Goatless. Bananas.

Wonder - as in being in awe with limitless possibilities, including magic and unknown and that what is impossible to describe.

Why did we have to teach language and make castles of illusory meaning and take away the chance to just take time and wonder?

We fill our children with love. We fill our friends with love. We fill plants and music with love. Love is the soul. If we give out enough of it, we transcend time.

Rumi says - "When we are dead, seek not our tomb in the earth, but find it in the hearts of men".

And now I get it. I understand What makes me love my wife. It is her ability to fall in love. With ideas, people, moments, fears, and at one point - with me.

And I sure hope that I will never, ever, ever, ever understand WHY I love her.

Or why I love you.